A Solar Return

My friend popped into my cubicle just before the holiday weekend with an early birthday present in tow. Hiding in the box was a vintage fortune telling teacup. I am over the moon! 

Thank you, CW...can't wait to invite over friends for tea leaves readings. 

Thank you, CW...can't wait to invite over friends for tea leaves readings. 

So yeah, it happened. I turned 46 this weekend. It feels a bit surreal, but I feel good. I can't deny that 50 is flashing like a bright neon sign out the corner of my eye, but I must snap into the present and embrace it! 45 was an intensely challenging year for me. I was swallowed by debilitating back pain that had me wondering if I'd ever walk again. The pain was spine shattering, unlike anything I've ever experienced. And being a gal who's broken 14 bones in her life, I've had my share of pain. I reached my lowest of lows as my mother cared for me like I was her small child all over again. I had to let go of any sense of self consciousness or grace. New bonds wove us together in the darkest of nights. Many beautiful gems were hidden in the tears and the suffering.

Complete surrender.

L.O.V.E.

I am learning to navigate life from a different perspective as I feel a huge transformational shift swirling round me. When you are pinned down and not able to move one limb without screaming, everything in life takes on a different sheen. I feel so appreciative of the smallest of miracles. Just waking without pain makes my heart swell. And there were too many wonderful memories from this past year to count. Square dancing under the stars, walking the Women's March in NY with my friends, gorgeous nights at the Bandshell, visiting my brother and his family in LA, meeting my tribe out in Colorado, weekends on the river with family. Life has been beautiful. The most difficult piece has been not being able to sit at my art table for long. Lately I've been showing up for five minutes to doodle. It's a start. I need to create to feed my spirit. That's why the writer in me has been knocking louder than ever.

So here I am. Ready to open and awaken new parts of me that are ready to spill. My life may not be anything that I had imagined it would be at this stage, but I am happy. I am so ready for love to sweep in. I grieved my ex in Nashville for far too many years. I am ready to move forward. I feel life cracking open. One thing I know, my body needs yoga and movement every day. I'm done with the cubicle life. I need to break free. I can hear the swish of new doors opening and the call of a new path.

And I'm listening.

In October I begin school part time at the Natural Gourmet Institute. I'm ready to spread my creative wings in a whole new way. I've been walking down the wellness road for a good twenty years now and recently got certified as a Holistic Health Coach. I have no idea where it will lead, but I will enjoy every delicious minute as the mystery unfolds. In the meantime, I still love my life as a Textile Designer. My wish would be for all of my talents to marinate beautifully together...and I know they will in time.

My fortune telling teacup told me so.

 

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Birthday fun with my nieces and nephews at the campground. Mackenzie, Jake, and Caleb.

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Caleb and Lucy watching the goats at the bungalow. River house love.