Winter Rush

I usually spend a lot of time on the first of January making lists of what I want in the year ahead. This year was different. I shifted from thinking to doing. Since winter is a time of reflection, I did ask myself one little question.

What in me is frozen? 

Answer: my creativity. 

I started loosening up in November, but it was time to kick it up a notch. So I sat my bum at the drawing table. My tools are now out at all times so that I am always ready. I decided to stay in on New Year's Eve to draw and set my intention in motion. And let me tell ya, it felt so good to wake up with a drawing instead of a hangover!

In December I started writing down my dreams every morning in a beautiful red book, Carl Jung style. I have noticed that this ritual is helping me to remember my dreams (and nightmares) more clearly. The polar bear drawing is based on one of those dreams.

I have also been having fun drawing from old photos of my ancestors. We have a slew of wacky self portraits of Uncle Stephan. He was in the States from Germany for only three years in the mid 30's to make money to send back to his family. I am not sure that he actually worked, but he did have a good time taking photos. Yesterday I drew my great grandmother Eva who passed away when I was two months old. It has been so fun bringing them back to life. I plan on doing many more.

It feels so good to begin the year with a bang!

A Season of Exploration

"The real voyage of discovery consists not in seeing new landscapes but in having new eyes."   - Marcel Proust

The last few months have been magic. I set aside my nights and weekends to be solely for exploration, sleuthing, and play. I released the "shoulds" and filled my free time with painting classes. I spent Saturdays watercoloring at Brooklyn Art Space and Sundays figurative painting at the Met. I escaped to Portland, ME and explored the cobblestone streets, laughed and ate till I couldn't breathe, and made some wonderful discoveries at the Maine Historical Society. What a thrill it was to sift through old photos and read old articles from art openings of the 1860's. Postcards and beautifully hand written letters have rekindled my love of old fashioned correspondence. I have been making weekly trips to the New York Public Library to read in the rare book room. What a treasure that space is! They have a wonderful show on now called, Why Children's Books Matter. I feel so expanded and ready to breathe some life into my next creative endeavor. This just might be my new way of living...less pressure, more pleasure.

Scholastic Art Magazine

It's here! Scholastic Art Magazine interviewed me as a Textile Designer for Gap in the November issue. Click on the photo to read it!

A Sense of Place

After attending the Society of Children's Book Writers and Illustrators Conference in LA this summer, I headed to Portland, OR to process my thoughts before returning home. I was so lit up with inspiration following the lectures of some of my favorite illustrators like David Wiesner, Carson Ellis, and after meeting the wondrous Marla Frazee.

But I was also found myself flooded with anxiety as the words of one of the most reputable agents spun through my mind, "Get your priorities straight...everything you do has consequences... don't overextend yourself...don't compromise the quality of your work..."

Going back home and heading into the Fall/Holiday crunch in the fashion industry is all consuming and filled me with so much fear that my dreams were going to slip away. How does one balance full time responsibilities, find love, pursue their dreams, hone their skills, live healthy and fully, fill up on friends and family, and feel financially safe? 

Stop stop stop. Rewind.

As Marla Frazee signed my copy of Stars, she told me to watch a documentary on Virginia Lee Burton after hearing that I work as a textile designer. It was the first thing I did when I returned home to Brooklyn. I knew of her books Mike Mulligan and the Steam Shovel, The Little House, and Choo Choo, but I didn't know about the woman behind those magical stories.  Virginia was a dancer, designer, painter, and sculptor. She was a mother and wife that lived an artistic life and surrounded herself with creative people. In 1941, she founded the textile collective Folly Cove Designers in Massachusetts. Their work can still be found in Boston's Museum of Fine Arts, The Peabody Essex Museum in Salem, and at the Metropolitan Museum of Art in NY. 

Now that is a true Renaissance woman.

I will follow her lead and make a point to slow down, surround myself with creative minds, and just enjoy where I am at. My dreams will not happen overnight, but I can plant some seeds every day till I get there. Thank you, Virginia, for reminding me that I can live a full and creative life filled with joy and grace. There is no rush, there is only now.

Virginia Lee Burton and the Tree Swing illustration

Book Expo America

My great friend and author of the Weird Series, Erin Frankel, and the incredible gang at Free Spirit Publishing flew in for BEA last weekend. After years of working remotely on our series (NY-Spain-Minneapolis), it was so incredible for us all to be together signing books and connecting with our readers. I am so grateful to all of the people that opened up and shared their deeply moving stories with us. I feel humbled, full of compassion, and so ready to begin a new project for all of the children out there that feel alone.

Book Expo America in NYC, 2013

My 'Life On Purpose' Interview at Inkwell Insight Coaching

​"There is great power in witnessing other’s stories, in hearing the struggles and triumphs of a well deserved win. Stories create deep connections and inspire action; they influence how we think and create meaning. Stories can connect us to our own inner strength…then we can reframe, stop self-sabotage and make deliberate choices."

To read Pt I of my interview by the wonderful Heidi Johnson, Director of Possibility at Inkwell Insight Coaching, click on the link below!​

Inkwell Insight Blog

Pause

I fell off the grid for a while and I have to say, it felt good. In my quest to get out of my own way, I took a break from illustrating and have directed all of my focus on my voice. Some of us creative types like to hide in the shadows, but if there is one thing that I have learned in the children's book industry, that doesn't fly. So I have been facing my fears of being seen and heard and joined a group voice class. I felt like a jumped off a cliff naked in front of thousands of people. It was pretty life changing. Obstacles, awakenings, you name it. I will spare you the gruesome details, but let's just say that there was a barrel involved. I'll stop there. I overcame a lot of old stuff that has been holding me back and I am singing a lot more at home, something that I have always been too self conscious to do (my poor neighbors!). Maybe this will open me up to do readings, teaching, and dare I say Karaoke. I also started a children's book writing course which has lit me up from the moment the first word went down. Hopefully this is the beginning of my journey towards becoming a writer/illustrator. Time will tell.

The Beauty of Time

I often hear people say that they are too old to follow their dreams. Bah! There is so much beauty in the world, so much of it growing richer with each day that passes. I always try to see each day with the eyes of a child to balance out the grown up me that feels confined in my cubicle. I will always nurture my curiosity and never stop exploring. Lately I have been drawn to collage, totally out of the blue. I think it has something to do with my love of music. I have been seeing bursts of colors in the notes and I want to catch them and lay them down in compositions on paper. I have been having flashbacks to a room I stepped into at The Met years ago. The walls were lined with small and intimate collages that were so breathtaking. The memory of them has left me curious about the creator. Her name was Anne Ryan. She was a self-taught writer, painter, and print maker who began her creative work at the age of fifty. She took up collage at the age of fifty eight and died six years later. How inspiring is that? Imagine if she had given up out of fear that she was too old? Instead she chose to follow her passion and out spilled 400 beautiful pieces of work that the world is still enjoying. I took the day off yesterday to rummage through the incredible collection of paper at New York Central Art Supply. I was swept away by the colors and textures and the 40's music filling the air. This weekend I am locking myself up to play. I have no idea if anything decent will come out of me, but I don't care. It is all about the journey.

​Anne Ryan, Untitled, 1953

January...Wiping the Slate Clean

I always love the turning of a new chapter. My resolution for the year is to get out of my own way. My entire life I have allowed my fears to hold me back. Once I finished illustrating the book series I had to face some of my biggest, most debilitating fears. Sharing my work, opening up, speaking in public. I spent many a night in the last year racked with anxiety. But something shifted in me over the Christmas break. I realized that in order to follow my calling, I have to get out of my own way. What is it that I am afraid of anyway? Is it even real? I have been conditioned to hide in the background, but if I want to evolve and reach out to children in a big way, then that thinking no longer serves me. So no more fear. And now I will be doing a storytime/craft event at Barnes & Noble on January 26th! When I feel the anxiety rise, I shift my thoughts to the children. I realize now that it isn't about me, it is about opening up and connecting with the world in a new way. 

P.S: I created the piece "The Truce" on my Illustration page as a way of making peace with fear. It was very satisfying!​

A Paris storefront.

Dots and Loops at Evans Contemporary

Last week I received a lovely message from a very dear artist friend. He told me that a pinhole photograph I took of the Bow River in Banff in 2005 is part of a group show at Evans Contemporary in Ontario. The photo holds some of my favorite memories and represents a time of creative expansion. A beautiful reminder to kick off the new year.

Dots and Loops Photography Exhibition

Father and Daughter

My Happy Place...

Everyone who knows me knows that I get really excited when it comes time to put up my Christmas village. Yesterday I spent hours lovingly and painstakingly drawing the cobblestone street. I love it! I wish I could shrink to a mini and and pop into the Ritz for a fancy holiday cocktail.

A Blog Interview! *YaY*

The wonderfully talented shoe designer, Caroline Cree, interviewed me for her blog to talk about life as a designer and illustrator. Be sure to shop her beautiful shoe collection while you are there!  You can read it here:

Caroline Cree's Footwear Collection and Blog

"I know the price of success: dedication, hard work, and an unremitting devotion to the things you want to see happen."

-Frank Lloyd Wright

A Work in Progress

I never had any interest in blogging, but I am often asked how I find the time to create outside of a mega full time job. And I do enjoy sharing my process. So I will use this as just that. A way to share my ups and downs of the creative journey and to share my little anecdotes. I am still a work in progress, always will be. After I finished illustrating the Weird Series, by Free Spirit Publishing, I fell into a downward spiral. After 3 and half years of being locked up in solitary confinement drawing in every spare hour I could find, I was left feeling so empty and full of fear after the pen went down for the last time. But after the book's release in September, I am finding myself breathing a little more. I am starting to feel the urge to create for myself again. I had so much love for that project, still do. It became all consuming and I found that I just didn't know how to live without it. But now I am starting to feel ready for new projects again. I am feeling pulled towards the music realm, not sure in what capacity, but I am allowing my intuition to guide me. One thing I have learned along the way is to find the balance as best I can, easier said than done. And after working on a project that I believed in so deeply, there is no turning back. I know that my path is leading me towards more projects that will use my creativity to light up the hearts of others. Words cannot describe the level of love and joy that I have been receiving from the children who are reading our books. It makes my heart expand ten times over. And that is something i have never experienced before. It is opening me up to giving and receiving love in new ways. 

I am attaching this pinhole photo that I took years ago while I was in an artist residency in Banff in Alberta, Canada. It was a magical place and my creativity exploded from the day I landed. I have this picture by my bed as a reminder of how open I was to something bigger. I jumped when I felt afraid and never looked back.